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“Five million six hundred thousand… bruh this is stupid Im done”

I never thought I would homeschool. Secretly, I made fun of (and potentially chastised) the unknown masses of homeschoolers. I saw them all as preppers, bible thumpers, and fear mongers. The idea of keeping my children at home under the idea that I could somehow do a better job of educating them than those with degrees and decades of experience seemed insane. Until now.

Our oldest (10) has begged us to homeschool him since first grade. An introvert’s introvert, most days at school he would spend hiding in the corner reading, or when allowed, drawing elaborate creatures and landscapes. By…


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My uberlist is in there, tabbed for easy retrieval, just below my giant eyebrows

Fuck your resolutions. They set you up for failure. You need objectives that can be measured and completed. You need actions, not ideas. You need… a list!

Last year I was introduced to the überlist, by way of friend and incredible artist, Susie Gharamani (plug for her lovely shop). And I will never be going back to new year’s resolutions.

Here are the basics: Write a list of 100 measurable (read: actionable) things you would like to complete in the next year. Then add a number of days equal to the current year minus 2000 (a possible indication of the…


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Everything is fine.

We are living in strange times. My therapist calls it “The New Normal” and (more hilariously) my wife’s place of work calls it “Business as Unusual.”

If you, like me, suffer from anxiety and depression, you may feel a spike in those awful gut-clenching feelings. Although, oddly, you may not. I have been surprised with myself at how unaffected I feel on some days. …


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psyhedelic hand washing technique

You’re standing at the sink. You’re considering the options — do I sing “Happy Birthday” or just straight-up count to myself while the hot water destroys my already chapped and cracked hands?

I’m here to tell you that you do have more options. I give you, in no particular order, five things you can sing while washing your hands vigorously in an attempt to avoid the existential dread of knowing there is nothing you can do to save yourself:

  1. The chorus from Jesus Christ Pose (Soundgarden)

But you’re staring at me Like I, like I need to be saved Saved…


Your partner might not know what to ask or how to help

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Photo: Davids’ Adventures Photos/Moment/Getty Images

My whole life I have suffered from a combination of anxiety and depression. After nearly twelve years of marriage, I had hardly spoken about it with anyone other than a handful of therapists. The challenges of parenthood only pushed me further away from my own understanding of the disorder, as both myself and my wife often went into full robot mode. It made life miserable at times, and it placed a thick cloud over our household. Three months ago I finally decided to talk to my wife.

It’s not that I was trying to fool her into thinking I was…

Robby Zar

word luvvah, procrastinator, sometimes-musician, webmonkey, geek, father of two. a part-time artist on a mission to eat more or less cheese. www.partist.com

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