Some mental health tips from a neurotic, clinically depressed, novice germaphobe
We are living in strange times. My therapist calls it “The New Normal” and (more hilariously) my wife’s place of work calls it “Business as Unusual.”
If you, like me, suffer from anxiety and depression, you may feel a spike in those awful gut-clenching feelings. Although, oddly, you may not. I have been surprised with myself at how unaffected I feel on some days. But I also know that before COVID-19 became a pandemic I had set some things in my life in order — a fairly rigid and yet simple order — that may have inoculated me somewhat from the terrors and uncertainties facing us in this present moment.
So, let me share with you the emotional vaccine I put in place at the beginning of this year:
- I set my alarm for the same time every morning (seven days a week). Currently it is set for 7am.
- I hurl myself out of bed at the sound of the alarm (when I can). Certainly I fail about twenty percent of the time and hit the snooze button. But the rest of the time I propel myself out of bed like I have been stabbed in the ass by an icepick.
- I make the bed. I do (if my wife hasn’t beaten me to it). It is a small thing but it is one more thing to check off of a list (see “I make a list” below).
- I do yoga and breathing exercises. I have a routine designed by my amazing friend, Adam, that I attempt to practice every morning. Some mornings I only do half of it. Some mornings I rush through while my mind attacks me with a list of all the things I must do. And some mornings I make it all the way through with patience and a quiet mind. Adam has online classes right now that I cannot recommend highly enough. I will also plug the following yoga studios in Chicago that will be doing remote classes as well: Tejas Yoga | Room to Breathe Chicago | Nature Yoga Sanctuary
- I take my damn medication.
- I brush my teeth. This is not just for the dentist, who reminds me every time I come in that I need to floss even though I tell him with a straight face that there is no chance in hell of that ever happening. I do it as one more thing I can do for my body to remind me that I am doing things for my body.
- Sometimes I shower. Rest assured, if I don’t get to it first thing I do it later on in the day. Some mornings (especially if I snooze), I recognize there are things I need to get to quickly (like prep for the kids’ first assignment of the day*) and so I forego the shower. But it can also have a calming affect, so on mornings that feel rough I may force myself to it.
- I write three longhand pages. I am a subscriber to Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages method. I don’t love everything she has ever written or said but daily longhand journaling has done wonders for me. I write about the previous day, dreams I had the previous evening, my fears, my plans for the day, and sometimes just “fuck this fuck this” over and over again.
- I check shit off my list. The night before (if I remember) I write a list of the things above in a separate journal (see below). And I add to it any additional things I want to get done that day (cashing a check, calling a friend, reading a chapter, etc.). Some days crossing things off the list means nothing and other days it feels like a triumph. I live for the latter days.
- I engage in a creative activity. That might be fifteen minutes on the guitar, or working on my sketchbook project. It might be more breathing work or yoga. It might be playing around with my Behringer D. The important thing is to disengage from the routine and find something that brings me into my own internal world in a positive way.
- If I can, I walk. The last couple of days it has been raining and like a baby I didn’t go out. But I could have. I should have, probably. One idea I picked up from Julia Cameron was something she calls a “Gratitude walk” which sounds corny as hell and while I resisted it for weeks when I finally did it I had to admit it was good. Just head off for twenty minutes or so and enumerate all the things in your life for which you are grateful. When I thought I had ran out of things I began straight-up listing things I had in my home which, oddly, was fascinating in and of itself.
- I make a list. I sort of already said this. But every evening I attempt to make a list of the morning activities I need to get done, along with some of the things I want to accomplish throughout the day. I use a vague approximation of the bullet journaling method (without all the tedious planning because I don’t have the time or energy).
That’s it. That’s what I do. How about you? What routines have you built into your life to ward off the demons?
*It’s a strange sign of the times that after one week of homeschooling this has become somewhat normal to me.
